Something as intrusive and strange (and definitely loud) as snoring, is just waiting for the jokers out there to have a field day. You may even find friends and family who snore coming up with the jokes themselves. In true Black Humor style, if something that isn’t funny it can be made into a joke, it’s suddenly not as threatening. This is demonstrated in a quote from award-winning children and young adult writer Judy Blume: “Snoring keeps the monsters away.”
- “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
This sharp quote from British writer and composer Anthony Burgess is bittersweet and, according to statistics, it proves true too often.
- “A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.” So says author Terry Pratchett.
On Sugar coating and Denial
Most habitual snorers will deny snoring as loudly as they snore. Even when they do wake themselves up mid-snore, they may wonder where the noise came from. But, in this digital age, it’s become easy for disgruntled partners to record their bed mate’s snoring, to play it back to them, or let a doctor listen to it when they’re seeking help for the snorer (or themselves). And, unfortunately, it could be used as evidence in a divorce.
Using full political correctness, an anonymous author took an unusual approach worthy of printing on a T-shirt when coming up with: “She does not: SNORE She is: NASALLY REPETITIVE”. Then there’s another quote that couldn’t be clearer about snorers’ denial: “My wife tells me that I snore a lot. So I stayed up last night to see if I could hear myself, and…. nothing.”
Sounds and descriptions
Snoring has earned itself many descriptions, from “sawing the log” to “bringing down the roof”. Perhaps the construction references stem out of the high decibels snoring produces, which compare well those produced by construction tools like electric drills. According to the following quotes, individual snorers produce different sounds, and sometimes it’s not even the actual snoring that’s the problem, but the anticipation of it happening.
- “They say it’s not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It’s the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour,” stated another author, Sloane Crosley.
- The description “Adam was snoring vigorously, Luke with dignity and serenity, the servants like a full orchestra“, is attributed to Thomas B. Costain.
Mysteries of snoring
- There’s a proverb that says “The one who snores will fall asleep first”. And somehow, that seems to be the case. The ones who lie next to them in bed “envy people who sleep next to someone who snores… Because I lie awake all night next to someone who snores!”.
- “There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.” Some interpretations say the quote by Mark Twain wasn’t actually talking about snoring, but about people’s inability to understand the process they go through the course of discovering, inventing or simply make a statement. However the extract from Tom Sawyer Aboard suggests it should be taken at face value – a real observation that while a snorer can wake almost anyone else, he “can’t wake himself up although all that awful noise of his’n ain’t but three inches from his own ears”.
- Prince Charles came up with this comment about boarding school in a private letter written way back in 1963: “I hate coming back here and leaving everyone at home … I hardly get any sleep at the House because I snore and get hit on the head the whole time. It’s absolute hell.”
- American actor Adam Sandler claims to using snoring as a timer marking his session of giving sleep therapy is over: “I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing ‘Maria’ from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.”
When Snoring’s not a Laughing Matter
Snoring is no joke, especially if it’s linked to sleep apnea, the serious sleep disorder that involves stopping breathing. It’s also no laughing matter when you consider that more couples which include a snorer end up parting ways more often than their silent sleeping friends. And if they don’t go their separate ways, it’s highly likely they will end up in separate bedrooms.
If you are a snorer, you don’t have to make up jokes or listen to them in order to feel better. Various devices are now available which are aimed at alleviating the discomfort and day-after effects of snoring, and what it does to your enjoyment of everyday life and relationships. Investigate products like the mandibular advancement mouthpiece or chinstrap options which bring the bottom jaw further forward while you are sleeping, so as to keep the airways open.
If you want to quit snoring once and for all read our reviews of Top Anti-Snoring Devices – Here.